


Talk About It, Yakko

by PARADOX420



Category: Animaniacs
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternative Perspective, Other, Projection, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Yakko Has Anxiety, i kin yakko
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-23
Updated: 2021-03-02
Packaged: 2021-03-13 09:21:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,725
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29649192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PARADOX420/pseuds/PARADOX420
Summary: Me using Yakko Warner in order to deal with my own struggles with anxiety. I wrote this as a coping mechanism with my own struggles at the time. This is a pure projection piece and if you do not like this kind of fic for animaniacs or find it “insulting” to the show, get over yourself and close out the webpage. Thank you.
Relationships: Dr. Otto Scratchansniff & Dot Warner & Wakko Warner & Yakko Warner, Dr. Otto Scratchansniff & Yakko Warner
Comments: 10
Kudos: 35





	1. Yakko’s Freudian Slip

Scratchy looked at his watch. It was almost time for his daily appointment with the Warners. He halfway dreaded and halfway looked forward to it. 

More and more often he allowed them to come in and simply talk. Less questions, and yet, oddly enough, more answers. Particularly from Yakko, who loved to talk and talk and talk… and Scatchy didn’t mind listening, even if at times he’d only halfway listen. Not because he didn’t care but because he’d get stuck on the why of it all. 

And just five minutes after the Warners busted into the room, he realized today would be one of those, “Mein gott, I’m completely lost!” types of days. 

Why, why would he do (that). 

It did upset him. After all, he was a psychiatrist! Figuring out the “why” behind people’s feelings and actions was the whole reason he formed an interest in psycology in the first place. But for these kidses, it was not so much that there was no reason, it’s that it usually boiled down to “Because it’s funny.” And for those who find everything aside a puppet funny, that was just as much as an explanation as nothing at all….

“... and I’m just like “Well, I’m sorry, it’s not exactly easy watching after two siblings all the time so e x c u s e me!” 

That caught Scratchy off guard. 

“What?” Yakko must’ve noticed that Scratchy’s expression changed. 

“Ah, vhat you just said”

“What did I just say?”

““It’s not exactly eazy to watching after two siblings all zhe time” “

“Oh, well it’s not. But before you, jump on it. I’m fine, we’re fine. Now, where was I? I oh yeah I was...”

Scratchy quickly got lost in thought again, this time out of concern if he was being honest. This was something he considered a Freudian* slip, and this was not the first time something like this happened, and probably wouldn’t be the last. 

“Alight kidzies! Would you look at zhe time!” 

He directed their focus to his watch, which read 2:00, meaning an hour has passed. 

“Oh, it’s time to go.” Yakko remarked, with a hint of disappointment. 

“trust me, if it vaz up to me I'd let you finizh your zhtory but it'z not, zo I need you to stick a pin it ahnd safe it for to-"

Oh no. He’d done it again. Yakko took out a comically large sewing pin.

“By zhat I mean zave thiz converzation for tommorow!” 

“Gotcha!” Yakko took out a computer and clicked the save button on a document titled “This confersation for tommorow!”

“NO! You can come in and finish your story tommorrow, zhat’s vat I mean! Have you never-?” Scratchy rubbed his temples in fustration. They take everything so literally it’s hard to get a single point across, even for very basic things. It’s like euphemisms are a foreign concept to them even after multiple decades, and it’s not like they were... dumb per say…

“Oh in that case, see you tommorow” All three of the kids gave Scratchy a fleeting hug and Warner-signature-cartoon kiss before running out the door, something he had also learned to not mind so much and even accept, hugging them back more and more often. 

***

Yakko found himself looking back and Scratchy’s office building as he climbed the ladder to their tower that day. Scratchy was always trying to “get inside their heads” but it’s not like he made that much more sense when it came down to it. One second he’s trying to change their zaniness which, as if they couldn’t make it more obvious, wasn’t gonna happen, and he starts yelling and acting just really insane, even by Warner standards, but the next moment he seems to….. Yakko had trouble making out his thoughts… be worried about them?? Ol’ Scratchy really needs to see a psychiatrist, was the most Yakko could make of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Let’s all collectively take a minute to cast intense hatred upon Sigmund Freud. If ya know, ya know.


	2. Doing Something

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SOOOOO MUCH INSPO FROM LOFICHICKENWINGS IN THIS CHAPTER!
> 
> Especially this post: https://www.instagram.com/p/CJUB7MCp8MJ/?igshid=1wgkdnfxerp4r
> 
> With changes, of course. Any way lofichickenwings is great check them, out!

He’s a fourteen year old boy, Otto! He CAN’T be a good parent.”

“I know but GOD FORBID I ever try to parent Wakko or Dot. NEIN! That’z hiz job!”

Slappy was a good, old friend of Dr. Scratchandsniff, someone he could talk to at times like this. She had a deeply ingrained zany-ness as well, but she was mature in it. Because of this, she could provide a perspective on the Warners and their behavior when he reached the limits of his understanding. 

“So, are you just gonna let him tell you what’s what and walk all over you?”

“I’m their psychiatrist and I don’t vant to hurt his feelings.”

“YOU’VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME.” Slappy slapped him.

Scratchy rubbed his face where he was slapped. “Listen. I understand zat he has taken on a fery parental role towards his little siblings ahnd I don't vant to take zat avay from him."

“I really shouldn’t have to tell you this but he’s crying out for help. And he’s crying out for help for a reason.”

“YOU DON’T HAVE TO TELL ME ZHAT!!” Scratchy slammed his fists on the table, “I’ll zhee ef I can get him to talk to me ahnd…” He rubbed his head and sighed, “I’ll try to do zhomething.”

“That’s more like it! Now, if you don’t mind I have a child of my own to take care of. Gotta go pick him up from school. Later, doc.”

“Later.” 

***  
**The Next Day***

Yakko stepped into Scratchy’s office. 

“So, you really wanted to talk to me about that ONE THING I said.”

“Yes, Yakko. it fas a fery concerning sing you said. now, sit down ahnd ahctually talk to me for once."

“I’m talking to you right now. I talk to you like crazy!”

“I mean talking ahs in, der type of confersations you know good ahnd vell you should be hafing vith me regularly if you ahnd your siblings vould stop vith der monkey business! Okay?”

“Oh you mean, “How do you feel?” and I don’t answer with,”With my hands”or something and you ask me to expand on that and expanding you don’t mean blowing up like a balloon.”

“You zhee! You do understand vhat to do!" Scratchy actually jumped up from his chair in excitement pointing at Yakko like an insane conspiracy theorist who just spotted an alien living among us, “I knew zhat all the zhilly behavior couldn’t be completely innate!”

“Ah, but you see. You want me to talk about my feelings and I don’t want to talk about my feelings so no matter what we’re at a really tough standstill, Scratchy? Whatever are we to do?”

Scratchy rubbed his head, “Yakko, you can't afoid your feelings forefer. aht some point you vill hafe to deal vith zem. ahnd if you can't deal vith zem in a healthy vay, vhich is vhat I ahm here to help you do, zen you could end up dealing vith zem in fery unhealthy vays, vhich I ahm trying to help you afoid."

Yakko sighed. “Fine. You win. I’ll talk to you. This once. But after that you let me talk about whatever I want to talk about from this point forward.”

Scratchy did not much like this deal, but it was the best he could do for now. “It’s a deal yakko. now, just yesterday you told me about how you shnapped aht someone ahnd you said: WELL EXCUSE ME IT’S NOT EASY RAISING TWO SIBLINGS-“

“That wasn’t what I said!” 

“You get der gist. vell, I find zat fery concerning.”

“Of course, you’ve said that like five times move on with it.”

This kid was testing him.

"I sink zat you are a fery good big brother ahnd you do a fery good job aht taking care of your siblings. ahnd I ahm fery impressed aht how vell you do ahll sings considered. . " he could not imagine having to take care of kids when he was Yakko’s age. It’s hard enough for him now and he didn't have to actually see the Warner’s 24/7.

“Of course. They’re my siblings. It’s my job to look after them.”

“Yes. That’s an innate instinct that many older siblings have, but let’s not get ahead of ourselves, ja?”

“Ja.”

(He’s just a kid, he’s just a kid. )

“But you and I both know you’re just a kid-“

“I’M FOURTEEN YEARS OLD!”

“You’re not a little kid but you are a kid nonetheless. I’m not going to argue about that.” 

Yakko looked off to the side. He knew that he couldn’t get Scratchy to change his mind on this point. 

“Ahnd ahs a kid you are ahlso struggling vith growing up vhich means...” Scratchy racked his big brain figuring out how to put this without putting Yakko down. “Ahll I'm saying is zat you shouldn't get ahngry aht me for trying to help parent vakko ahnd Dot because I'm only trying to help you."

“Well,” This was one of those rare times Yakko was out of words, if only for a few seconds, “Thank you Scratchy , but I don't need you to take over. I’ve taken care of them for longer than you've known us so I think I know what I'm doing."

That fact always hit Scratchy like a ton of bricks. They were children yet they were older than him. It was such a surreal concept to think about, so he forced himself not to dwell upon it. 

“I'm not saying you don't ahnd I'm not taking ofer. I'm simply noticing zat you're getting stressed out ahnd .. maybe you should just let me take ofer vhen you get stressed out.”

“Why, why do you care. Why are you saying all this?”

“I'm saying ziss...“he took a deep breath. He couldn’t hide from his true parental feelings forever. He put a hand on Yakko’s shoulder and said, “Because I lofe you, Yakko. ”

“No you don’t. Don’t say that! Just leave me alone!” 

For the first time Scratchy could remember, Yakko left without being told to.


	3. ADOPT. US.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> MY INSPIRATION: https://www.instagram.com/p/CJUB7MCp8MJ/?igshid=u8ibuxqcz6ik

Yakko collapsed on his bed that night, physically exuasted from all the pacing he did after his appointment with Scratchy.  
Usually when he felt this way he would play or talk to his siblings. But Wakko was at band practice right now and Dot was busy getting ready to go on a date with some other weird guy. 

But what was he feeling? 

Yakko didn’t understand. Didn’t know how to explain it. 

Even while trying to sleep, his mind kept racing and racing and racing. Idea after idea. Especially bad ideas tonight. What if one of his siblings went missing? What if they were unhappy? What if money ever ran out? What if the apocalypse happens, and it’s really boring? 

What if Scratchy was right? Maybe he did need help parenting them. 

Yakko used to think he did, so much so that he and his siblings would actively look for someone to adopt them. Time after time again they were rejected: yelled at, picked up by the neck. 

Locked in the tower. 

Oh no. Yakko felt like he was floating, and he didn’t like it.

Oh and if ol’ Scratchy cared sooo much…!

His mind halted. He knew exactly what he wanted to say next. 

***

(The next day, a few minutes before the session)

Yakko told Dot and Wakko to follow his lead, then kicked the door to Scratchy’s office down.

“Yakko Varner vhat vas zhat for!”

“YOU! IF YOU CARED SOOO MUCH ABOUT US, YOU WOULD HAVE ADOPTED US ALREADY!”

Yakko continued to rant and rave but Scratchy stood in the same frozen postition and stared at him. He could barely process what Yakko was saying, and the pain in his chest was sharp. Scratchy tried to reason with himself, but there was no doubt about it: Those words hurt. 

“Yakko Varner. Sit down. Shut up. Listen to me.” 

There was a sharp harshness and coldness to Scratchy’s tone unlike the Warner’s had ever heard before. Sure he was used to him being strict. Angry, absolutely. But not cold. 

They obeyed. 

Scratchy stared into Yakko’s eyes as if he was burning his very soul for a full minute and started crying. 

“Now he REALLY does need to see a psychiatrist.” Yakko thought. 

“I’ve thought about it. I really have. But,” Scratchy was short of breath, “But I can’t. I just can’t.”

“why can’t you?” Dot asked in the tiniest little voice. 

“I’m not. I-God Otto, YOU KNOW HOW TO TALK ABOUT FEELINGS NOW DO IT!”

The kids held on to each other as Scratchy talked to himself.

“What I’m trying to say is, I’m not sure if I can be a good father.”

Yakko wanted to say something smart, witty, clever but the most he could muster was, “Wha-?”

Wakko stood up and intruded, “You’ve already been a good father to us, Scratchy!” He jumped into Scratchy’s arms and received an embrace. 

“It’s not, professional. A good psychiatrist can connect with his patients emotionally without feeling overly attached. But-“  
He looked at the Warner’s, a paternal feeling swelling up in him, “A psychiatrist is not supposed to have a favorite patient, much less three. And what am I supposed to do? I would still have to leave you home all day while I work with patients, if you think I’m letting you sit outside my office and bug Hello Nurse all day-, That is until you have your appointment. And geez, I know you love driving me crazy but I CAN’T HANDLE IT AT HOME AND HERE!”

“Oh, okay.” Yakko said, holding Dot, “Come on Wakko, I can tell when we’re not wanted and it’s time to go home. Right now is one of those times!”

“Vhat, vhat do you mean! I do want you to be my children that’s the entire problem!”

“You don’t really mean that do you?” Yakko said, eyes gleaming.

“I say this because I love you.” Scratchy put his hand on Yakko’s shoulder. 

Yakko smacked him away, “NO YOU DON’T STOP SAYING THAT!” 

“NO, IT’S TRUE. AND I DON’T KNOW HOW ELSE TO PROVE IT TO YOU!”

“ADOPT. US.”

“I CAN’T!”

“THEN JUST LEAVE US ALONE.”

With that, Yakko grabbed his siblings and ran out, not even bothing to shut the door this time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought I should add, while I’m projecting it’s more about a mental state then the situation. My situation is far different from Yakko’s character but anxiety=anxiety


	4. ???

As soon as he was back in the water tower, Yakko made swiftly sure his siblings had their needs met, locked himself in a large safe and started crying. 

“He does realize we can still hear him right?” Dot gestured toward the large safe. 

Wakko said, “Hear what?”

Dot face palmed. 

Sure she was a bit distraught and disappointed, and she was sure Wakko was too but they understood Scratchy’s point of view. Yakko was the one who should be teaching them to stay positive, not the other way around.

“Let’s just give him his… privacy.” 

***

Yakko could still hear them too. He mentally thanked Dot for giving him his privacy. 

Why did this affect him so deeply? He was also wondering. 

Because Scratchy loved them? No, they wanted to be loved. Even though he knew he didn’t deserve it.

Because they loved Scratchy? They all loved Scratchy. 

Yakko thought back to what he said, all the little things, all the big things, how Scratchy reacted. He nearly fainted. 

Yakko hurt Scratchy?

Yes.

Yakko. Hurt. Scratchy.


	5. ?..

As soon as he was back in the water tower, Yakko made swiftly sure his siblings had their needs met, locked himself in a large safe and started crying. 

“He does realize we can still hear him right?” Dot gestured toward the large safe. 

Wakko said, “Hear what?”

Dot face palmed. 

Sure she was a bit distraught and disappointed, and she was sure Wakko was too but they understood Scratchy’s point of view. Yakko was the one who should be teaching them to stay positive, not the other way around.

“Let’s just give him his… privacy.” 

***

Yakko could still hear them too. He mentally thanked Dot for giving him his privacy. 

Why did this affect him so deeply? He was also wondering. 

Because Scratchy loved them? No, they wanted to be loved. Even though he knew he didn’t deserve it.

Because they loved Scratchy? They all loved Scratchy. 

Yakko thought back to what he said, all the little things, all the big things, how Scratchy reacted. He nearly fainted. 

Yakko hurt Scratchy?

Yes.

Yakko. Hurt. Scratchy.

**Author's Note:**

> *Let’s all collectively take a minute to cast intense hatred upon Sigmund Freud. If ya know, ya know.


End file.
